Mercy808’s blog

Should I turn around?

I remember laughter.
The sound of it tickled my ears,
reverberating a bitter-sweet after-taste of a memory.
My smile used to woo the corners of my eyes into a joyous furrow.
The warmth of its lovemaking left on my cheeks, a rosy stained hue.
The unabashed candor of my steps,
once a waltz I had thought would not end. 
It's destination humming a happily ever after.
Then like an eerie sound of quiet,
you clamor into my life.
Your presence an inky blackness, 
wrapped around my neck, a snake in a choking coil.
Your empty promises and whispers of love,
weighed heavily upon my steps, 
a chain and ball to my dance.
Time passed quickly.
Life, a distant light in the grimy void of a tunnel.
Into your bleak future, I am embraced.
At last, your demise is complete.
I stand before you, a broken mirror. 
Look at me. 
Am I what you wanted?
Look at me.
The shell of you.

Written by:

~Mercy Brianne Luis~

There once was a couple that were planning to get married. Before the wedding took place the woman told the man, "You can never open this shoebox while we are married". So he agreed and they in time got married. Throughout their marriage he never once opened the shoebox but always wondered what was in there. Well, after 62 years of marriage his wife was in the hospital and the doctors told him that she will be passing on soon and it would be a good idea for him to spend as much time with her as possible. So he went to her and said to her, "In 62 years I never once opened the showbox you asked me not to open". She replied "Now would be a good time, go get it.." He brought it back and opened it to find two things: 2 doilies and $250,000 in cash. So he asked, "Why do you have this in here?" She said, "A long time ago my grandmother told me that when you get married, get a shoebox and when you get mad at your husband to make a doily." The husband, stunned, started tearing up because he knew that what that meant was she only got upset with him 2 times in 62 years He went on then to ask "If that's so, what is the deal with the $250,000?" She said.... 

Walking down a lonely road
a weary young soldier went.
His head bent low, his expression grim,
his chivalrous spirit spent.

Gone were the days of playful laughter,
days of youthful vigor forgotten.
Gone was the dream of life ever after,
a fruit that had been so sweet, now rotten.

His gallant white steed now dirty and weak,
sorrow clung to him like grime and sweat.
Posture slumped and emotions bleak,
down that lonely road he went.

Wanting the light to set him free,
he limped to the church below.
His soul in pain, in agony,
his search for solace amongst the sorrow.


Written and Revised by: Mercy B. Luis

You ever thought to yourself that the one person you want to be with and you are inlove with is going to be the only person with whom you will spend the rest of your life with? Ever been so inlove with someone that you humble yourself in ways that even you didn't think you were capable of? For example: when you both argue and he's wrong, you would apologize because you just wanted things to be smooth again between the two of you?

Well, I thought that way once upon a time. I thought myself so inlove with this person that when we broke it off, not only was I shocked, I was devastated. The guy whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with left me for another person.

Well, that was a while ago. Almost a year, in fact. Situations have changed and I am once again inlove. This time to an awesome person who I connect with so well...on many levels...whether it be spiritual, physical or otherwise. The one thing that I honestly regret about this relationship is that I came into it with a cynicism about love; about men. I didn't really "hate" all men, I just realized that I can't trust them. You can even be "cliche" about it and say that "I was burned." lol. I guess I have been burned.

My point to this blog is that although situations may be different, the person I'm with now may be different...the past is still there. Because of this new cynicism that I've somehow developed, my relationship with the man in my life right now is somehow hesitant on my part. I am more hesitant to fully give my heart to him, I am very wary of humbling myself to him during arguments and disagreements because I don't want to seem like the weak one.

Worst of all, I've developed a new attitude about relationships. With my ex, whenever we would fight and bicker, because I would want things to be good between us, I would either apologize to him or I would try to beg him to forgive me (and that made me feel so stupid, but I was so inlove with him), and each time it seemed as if I would shrug it off and tell myself that it won't happen next time.

I was wrong. Each time it happenend, it got worse. Now, I've developed the "I don't put up with bullshit" attitude. Sad because I'm really not that kind of person, but I don't want the guy to think that he can just play his little mind games on me and keep getting away with it. Hell NO!

Well, I'll try to explain better next time. Right now I'm hella tired and I know that I probably don't make sense on half of this blog, but oh well. I don't care. Just wanted to vent in a way.

Thanks for that anyway.

See ya! 

It's funny how we, as parents, tend to not only try to control our own lives, but also the lives of our children. Usually, this common mistake becomes apparent in the later stages of your child's life. Yes, we know those stages well..."The Teenage Years."

There is a war going on,
Raging from within.
The Spirit against the Carnal flesh,
The question is who'll win?

There is a war going on,
Confusion starts to show.
It hovers, grinning wickedly,
Slowly, everday it grows.

There is a war going on,
Frustration shows its face.
It attacks from every angle,
Starting at your weakest place.

There is a war going on,
Fear moves in to kill.
Its battle cry fills the air,
Its mocking voice, loud and shrill.

There is a war going on,
A light in the dark grows bright.
It kills confusion with its sword,
Slashing it through left to right.

There is a war going on,
The light shines its beams.
Blinding frustration without mercy,
Ignoring its agonizing screams.

There is a war going on,
One more left to go.
Fear is quickly demolished,
The light letting out a battle cry of its own.

There is a war going on,
The light is all around.
Its sword is lifted to the heavens,
Its knees bent to the ground.

It took a while to figure out.
Now I'm sure I know.
That the light that had won the battle,
Was sure enough...my soul.

Written by: Mercy B. Laejer

Hugs and kisses and the I-Love-Yous, Colors of black/pink/gray/white, little hands clinging onto mine, smiles as bright as the sun given freely and without malicious intent, sighs of contentment, words of adoration expressed spontaneously, the alphabet song and any nursery rhymes sung in piercingly high pitched voices, the words muffled and changed as if too hard to remember, titillating laughter bubbled up and released without fear of retribution, beating heart through a t-shirt, lovely lips when relaxed and turned up, being held for no apparent reason than to just breathe, fairy kisses that seem awkward yet amusing...